And it has been so worth it.
I won’t lie. It isn’t always easy to give up on an old relationship. Wether it was a good one or a bad one… In my case it was the relationship with alcohol. A long-lasting companionship with and old false friend. Or that is at least how I looked at it. And now with summer here and all the parties as it seems to be, everywhere, you get reminded again and again of the “good ol days”.
Yes, sometimes they were good, but seldom they lasted that way. One way or another they all ended either in tears or any other kind of tragedy for one self or those around. Those of us who have danced with this devil, we know the steps. We have all heard the tunes and we have more than often sung the songs. But with this weakness or this illness, we aren’t made to continue this dance.
And so you find yourself, and especially in early recovery, feeling a bit left out. You feel like you are missing out on something really fun. But you know it’s a bit too early to go and hang out in your favorite beach bar with your friends, cause the temptation is still there. So what do you do? How do you avoid life? Cause that is what is going on all around you wherever you go. It comes with the season. People everywhere celebrating summer, vacation, weddings, graduations and whatever. And yes more often with than without alcohol.
There they are in what it seems to be, their own bubble of joy, leaving us, the others, outside of their hazy pink cloud. Because that is all they will show you. The shiny side. The dark one, that often follows, is well hidden behind the curtains, with only small carefully selected audience to witness.
So for me, what do I do? I walk by. I sometimes take my bike for a ride along the beach bars, I watch, I observe. And I ask myself, if my life is so empty and meaningless, that I need to escape it by intoxicating myself ? And the answer is getting more and more, No. It isn’t. I am understanding more and more, that life is so much more enjoyable when exprienced sober. And trust me, life has so much more to offer than you think. You just need to learn how to embrace it and slowly, put yourself out there more. You are not alone in this.
Thank you for spending your time here.
I wish you a wonderful summer and good health.
Until next. A