Time to leave the party

have a lovely day

 

To decide when it’s time to leave the party, and start doing something better with your life can take time and a whole lot of effort. And it can be difficult. As we are different, we all have different ways when we do so. Sometimes it is easy and you don’t have to struggle that much. Sometimes it takes months, even years. All depending on who you are as a character and/or various other reasons. And yes you will fail… Many times.

I’ve been a party person since my early teenage. I grew up in a small town where there wasn’t much to do on the weekends, except going to the movies (but only when they were showing something new) or hang out with friends in various locations. Even though we were not old enough to drink, we were introduced to alcohol pretty early. Ever since I got in touch with all the “glorious” things that came with drinking (wich turned out to be not so glorious…) I came to realize that the image of drinking has, as we all know, two sides. The one where people see no harm in having a drink or two and then stop, the glamour commercials and glorifying of it everywhere and so on and so forth. And then the negative ones for the rest of the people who for various reasons simply can’t nor should have that first drink cause it could eventually damage your entire life. We all know that alcohol has been the reason for so many tragedies. I won’t go too deep here though. There is already enough material about it all over.

I am blessed with one thing, and that is even despite I have enough of people around me (who for various reasons have decided to leave the party because they had to), I haven’t sunk that deep yet that it is too late for me to join them. I am blessed that despite many times I deeply regret putting myself through risky situations due to the intake of this substance, I am in fact still here. Yes there has been some damages along the road, but I have managed with both direct and indirectly help get to the point where I am today.

So why have I decided to do this? What brought me to this point? Well without getting too private, I have managed to finally start building the life I have dreamt of for so long. Few years ago, I was without a home, a job and a steady income. I had debts over my head and I could never make ends meet at the end of the month. I consumed a whole lot more alcohol then was nearly good for me and I had zero hope for the future. My relationships ended after only few months and I was never happy. Except when someone suggested we should go for a drink. And trust me there was always money or way of finding money to finance the party.

I am a person with ADHD and so I shouldn’t drink. Cause those two are simply a bad match. Also I have alcoholism in my family and my body can’t handle it. So I have many good reasons to choose a life without intoxicating myself. The road to this point where I choose to say enough with this, has been long and it has been a struggle. But during the years I have seen many people who I love, getting out of the claws of this addiction. I have looked at them from a distance with envy, wishing I too could do that. I know it hasn’t been easy for any of them, it seldom is. But they have done it non the less.

Today when I look around in my home, when I go to work and at the end of the month receive my paycheck, I see all the reasons I have to keep on going in this direction. The road ahead won’t be easy, cause it is still early in my sobriety. The glorified memories aren’t far enough to be easily shaken off to the past. But I know that with baby steps, anything is possible. It has been done before by so many others.

The more a persons sobers up and decides to leave the old party days behind, the more you will come to realize all the benefits it brings. Your body will feel so much better, your wallet is safe(er) ( cause you might finally be able to do all the things you wanted but never could), your relationship with people can and will improve with time, you won’t wake up anymore thinking what the h*ll did I do or say last night, and therefore don’t have to feel any shame or guilt and you will never be hangover again… And this is only the top of the iceberg.

The more your mind clears up, the more you will see things in a whole different light. And maybe, finally you will be able to go on that trip or buy that furniture or whatever your heart might desire.

I know that this is the best decision I have ever made. And even though this is just the beginning and that I have failed, I know my future self will thank me one day for this.

So therefore I am now officially leaving the party. I know life has so much more to offer.

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